Sticks and Stones

Words are hefty little things. As children, many of us have been told that sticks and stone will break our bones, but words can never hurt us. How wrong is that! Words cut deep. They insert themselves deep into the mind and soul, making wounds that are hard to heal.

"They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows." (Psalm 64:3)

What do your words sound like? Are they encouraging? Discouraging? Sharp? Harsh? Selfish?

Let us look at "what would you do?" scenarios.

Sarah has been going to church for many years. Events in her life affect her attendance and slowly she skips more and more. Would you tell her she is missed and that you would love to see her next Sunday? Berate her for missing, telling her how much she NEEDS to be in church?

Say nothing at all? 

Barb is a single mother. You see a lot of teenage attitude, possibly an at-risk child, and a silent mother. What would you do? Tell Barb how she needs to get a handle on her child? Ask if she needs to talk and keep her in your prayers? Say nothing at all?

Chris works hard everyday but nothing seems to get done. The kids do not help as they should, but are improving as she works harder to be more consistent with her rules. Would you ask if she needs help and lend a hand? Tell her she needs to get a handle on those kids and make them work?  Say nothing at all? 

Now, let's look at the reality behind these scenarios.

Sarah loves God with all her heart. She stopped attending church, not because of life's circumstances, but because she felt she was constantly berated when she did miss. Often times, those who belittled her (intentionally or not) were known to miss a few Sundays themselves. Instead of bringing her closer, encouraging her, making her feel welcome, Sarah only felt like an outsider. Where do outsiders go? Away from the source of discontent.

Barb has a hard time raising her children alone. Still, she pushes on. No one -except God- knows her heart. No one else hears the prayers she speaks daily for her children and family. No one knows the is working toward making her family's life better. Assumptions only lead to discord.

Chris is exhausted. Not from trying to get everything done or from staying on her children, but from the constant words she hears from others. She feels that she can do nothing right. The harder she tries, the more she feels like a failure. Motivation comes from encouragement, not assertiveness. While children need discipline and correction, they also need to know that the things that they do put for effort are appreciated -even when they are not done as well as we would like.

The tongue is a mighty weapon. It can be used for good or evil. It can be used to encourage or to tear apart. It only takes a second to utter words that cut into the soul, and a lifetime to heal the wound. What use does your tongue have in your life and how do your words affect those around you?